A South Lake Tahoe resident, Nathan entered Unity Care’s Independent Living Program (ILP) in El Dorado County on August 12, 2019. With the help of Sabrina Hambaba, an Independent Living Coordinator at Unity Care Group, Nathan was able to engage with four of the five pillars of success that Unity Care Group promotes: Education, Unconditional Care, Well-being and Employment.

Sabrina influenced Nathan’s journey by helping him build his resume and update his Indeed account, delivering transportation support, and providing incentives. She also encouraged him to participate in Unity Care activities such as indoor skydiving, paddleboarding and piloting, to help him build experience that aligned with his career goal of becoming a pilot.

Placing Nathan in an educational program was challenging, because he was ineligible to receive California-issued education grants or scholarships. Sabrina has been instrumental in helping him source alternative education grants and opportunities such as the NCC ILP Scholarship and FAFSA. As a result, Nathan is currently enrolled at a Mechanics and Welding program in Nevada.

Here’s Nathan’s story:

My name is Nathan Estrada Gomez. I was born on August 22, 2002, in Russellville, Arkansas. I have six siblings, two sisters and four brothers. I live in South Lake Tahoe, with my former foster mother, Dolores – but I call her “Grandma.” The first five years of my life were fairly normal. In addition to eating breakfast and watching cartoons, my family and I would eat at restaurants and go swimming at pools or the lake. Every year we would visit family in South Lake Tahoe.

Then, things started to get very hard. My father was an alcoholic and a drug user, and my mother also used drugs. At the age of six, I didn’t know what they were doing, but as I grew older I learned that they were very heavy users. My father was a loud, angry man and my mother was violent. Eventually, she became fed up with my father and sent him back to California to his parent’s house. Then, my mother allowed another man to live with us. After that, my life was characterized by violence and police visits.

One day we went to my aunt’s house, and she decided to take me and my brothers to California. When we arrived, we discovered my father had been deported. We lived with my grandparents for seven years. Their household was respectful, and they treated us well. However, they used physical discipline, and when I was 13, my brother decided to report them for abuse. CPS reprimanded them, and they decided that if they couldn’t use physical discipline, they wouldn’t be able to control us. They sent us back to Arkansas, to live with my mother.

Life in Arkansas

My mother lived in Ola, Arkansas in a three-bedroom house with the man who abused her. My youngest brother, age 9, was already living there and witnessing the constant abuse. I prayed every day when I was with my grandparents to never let anything happen to him. The joy on his face when he saw us come back home was evident.

My two brothers and I shared a room with my mother’s other children, my half sister and brother. The room was in bad condition, and the dryer vent was connected to it. I knew my mother was being abused because there was plenty of evidence. We saw reports from the hospital, and she often had black eyes and broken facial bones. During that time, we witnessed mental, physical and emotional trauma. We saw the man choke my mother and called the police, but she would defend him and tell them we were lying.

The state of Arkansas works very differently than California does. They are strict when it comes to children “misbehaving.” At one point while I was living there, I thought about suicide, because I felt I’d never escape what felt like hell. We weren’t allowed to go outside unless something bad was happening at home. One time, when I was 14, my older brother and I destroyed the house out of frustration, hoping my mother would send us back to California. We had word that our father had returned to the U.S. It worked. My mother didn’t want us there anymore, so she paid someone to take us to California.

Back to California

My father was not in a good position either; he was hopping from motel to motel and using drugs in front of me and my older brother. Unfortunately, my brother started using drugs, too. I never used hard drugs in my life, but I did smoke weed. My father always told me if I didn’t like the way he lived then I could leave. I had no choice because my grandparents didn’t want me either.

After that, my brother and I went to an aunt’s house. My aunt was suffering from depression. What’s more, her sons sold drugs at the house. One day, my father came over and asked if I wanted to work. I was excited and said “Yes.” This way, I could support myself.

My father took me to the Hard Rock Hotel and asked his manager if I could work there. The manager had asked me if I was 18. I think he thought I was an immigrant from Mexico. At 14 I had already grown my goatee and a mustache. They agreed to hire me, and I worked with my father for two months from 11pm to 8am, making $13 per hour cleaning the kitchens and prepping them for the chefs to cook. I would walk or sometimes take the bus to work. After work, I would go home and sleep all day. I had no time for school.

My brother, however, was still in school, and one day he got caught with drugs in his possession. CPS looked for us at my aunt’s house and she didn’t know where I was. We were red-flagged, and our life was about to change.

A Change for the Better

When CPS came to my aunt’s house and told me to get my belongings, I felt hopeless. They told me I wasn’t safe there. I felt like my life was over, but I was wrong. I didn’t realize that CPS was going to save me. We were taken to a group home in Placerville called New Mornings. My brother chose to stay at Juvenile Hall rather than take this opportunity.

Throughout my time in the foster system, I stayed in five different homes. It was difficult going to a stranger’s house. I lived with Alexys and worked for him as a car detailer. I learned how to detail a car’s interior and exterior but being both my boss and my “parent” was challenging for Alexys. At the second home, I lived with Juan and Lauren, who owned three restaurants. I learned to cook and work at a cash register. I loved their huge house, but it didn’t work, because of my addiction to marijuana and their expectations of me.

My third home was with Kike and Cecelia. I was 15 then. They were good people but very young. They were interested in fostering, so they became certified while I was in their care. Unfortunately, they were way too lenient with me, and there wasn’t much structure.

My fourth home was a better experience. I lived with a man named Billy and his adopted children, Sammy, and Andrew. I was 16 then, Sammy was 9 and Andrew was 12. Billy was a very lenient and understanding parent. He only had a couple of rules: Never come home late and stay in school. One thing I loved about him was that he never required me to have a job, although I still worked. Unfortunately, he decided to move to Seattle, and although he wanted to adopt me, I didn’t want to leave South Lake Tahoe.

The fifth home I went to was the last and the best home – and I still live here today. Dolores Russell is the most loving and caring person. She was the one that got me through my worst struggles. I promised her that because she took care of me, I will take care of her as long as she is still here with us!

What I Learned

While I was in the system, I received support from my high school. My counselor and Godmother, Amy Jackson, helped me get on the right path. A social worker, Tiffany Barker, was also understanding about my situation, ensuring I felt safe at home and providing me with individual therapy. Also, when I would want to visit family, she would provide transportation. I was grateful for their help.

When I first got into foster care, I didn’t want to speak with anyone. It was so hard to tell people what I went through without shedding tears. I hated people seeing me like that. It took me a long time to get used to people and let out my feelings. Throughout my time in the system, I learned that people were not there to judge me. They’re there to help children that are in need and not safe.

I got comfortable with talking to a therapist. I learned how to speak without getting emotional. I’ve stopped talking to some of my family members, because I knew they were not benefiting me in a way that I could become successful in the future. It was hard to do that, but I know that I made the right decision.

I earned my Driver’s License when I turned 16, and I graduated high school at age 17 – a year early. After that, I entered trade school to become a certified welder. After two years, I’m almost finished. I also passed my automotive electrical classes with 86%, and I had the option to become certified.

I bought and restored a 1986 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham when I was 16. I took it apart, reinforced the frame with my welding skills, and painted it. Thanks to its hydraulics system, it jumps high and stands on three wheels, so I had to make sure the frame could handle a lot of force. To this day, the car is in my grandma’s garage.

The Road Ahead

I learned a lot of working skills while I was in the foster care system. I learned how to detail cars, cook, manage a restaurant, do landscaping, and build foundations for houses. My long-term goal is to become a licensed pilot and work for a commercial airline – or for a rich person who needs a pilot! I’m also interested in computers. My great uncle wants to open a lowrider/painting shop once I earn my welder certification. He plans to paint while I provide frame reinforcements and hydraulics. I intend to continue learning new skills – as many as my brain and body can handle!

For the children out there, that don’t think they aren’t worth it, because of bullies or family issues, you are worth it! Every life matters, and it might not seem like it now, but you are destined for something great!